Hello, beautiful soul.

As we all face difficult times and challenges, the way we face those challenges can often lead us to success or demise. If you’ve ever felt trapped in a cycle of frustration, blame, or exhaustion, whether in your relationships, on social media, or even in your own mind? I see you!

You inspire this blog because I saw a time where you were radiating love and light and now I see anger and fear. The political chaos and social media has led you into another dimension away from who you truly are. YES you are a change maker but not this way. We can lead with creative light or fall into victimhood, blame and fear. You can use your voice for unity instead of divide.

Obviously there are many factors that contribute to how someone maneuvers through their stress and challenges. Today I want to highlight one aspect. As a hypnotist and NLP practitioner, I’ve guided countless hearts through the shadows of their patterns, and today, I want to share something transformative with you. It’s about two models that shape how we live: Karpman’s Drama Triangle and Emerald’s Empowerment Dynamic. One keeps us stuck in hate and struggle; the other lifts us into love and creation. Let’s journey together to understand the difference, and why stepping onto Emerald’s side is the key to the life you truly deserve.

The Drama Triangle: A Pattern We’ve All Lived

Picture this: a downward spiral, a triangle with three points pulling you in Victim, Hero (Rescuer), and Persecutor. This is Karpman’s Drama Triangle, created by Stephen Karpman in 1968. It’s a map of how we get caught in dysfunctional loops, often without realizing it. As an NLP practitioner, I’d call it an unconscious script or a program running beneath the surface, driving our thoughts, words, and actions.

Victim: You feel powerless, overwhelmed, like life’s happening to you. “Why me?” echoes in your mind. Maybe you’ve posted online about being “silenced” or “attacked,” seeking sympathy. It’s a heavy place, but it’s familiar—learned, perhaps, from childhood when we watched a parent play this role.

Hero (Rescuer): You swoop in to save the day, cape fluttering. “I’ll fix this!” you say, whether it’s a friend’s crisis or a cause on X. It feels good to be needed—until you’re drained, and they still lean on you. I’ve seen this in clients who rescue to avoid their own shadows.

Persecutor: You point the finger, lash out, control. “It’s their fault!” you declare, maybe in a heated comment thread or a family argument. It’s power—but it’s fleeting, and it leaves a bitter taste.

Here’s the kicker: We don’t stay in one role. We flip. A Victim rejected by their Hero becomes a Persecutor. A Hero criticized turns Victim. Sound familiar? On social media, it’s a wildfire! Someone cries “censorship” (Victim), allies rally with hashtags (Heroes), and the “mob” gets blamed (Persecutor).

In politics, leaders play all three: “They’re rigging it against us” (Victim), “I’ll save you” (Hero), “They’re the enemy” (Persecutor). It’s a dance of drama, fueled by guilt, blame, and avoidance. And oh, the hate it breeds, division online, gridlock in the world, tension in our hearts.

Why do we stay? Because each role has a payoff, as Karpman showed us. Victims get pity, Heroes get praise, Persecutors get control. But it’s a trap. It keeps us spinning, never resolving, just entrenching the pain. As a hypnotist, I’d say it’s a trance or a hypnotic loop we fall into, reinforced by algorithms, news cycles, and old wounds.

The Empowerment Dynamic: A Path to Freedom

Now, close your eyes for a moment. Imagine a triangle pointing up, bathed in lights of greens and blues, a sunrise of possibility. This is David Emerald’s Empowerment Dynamic (TED), born in 2005 as an antidote to Karpman’s spiral. It’s not just a model; it’s a choice or a way to rewrite your script with love, vision, and strength.

Creator (Instead of Victim): You stand tall, arms open, a lightbulb glowing above you. You’re not helpless—you’re powerful. You ask, “What do I want?” instead of “Why me?” It’s about owning your life, crafting solutions, chasing dreams.

Coach (Instead of Hero): You’re a guide, not a fixer. Picture a warm smile, an outstretched hand. You say, “What can you do about this?” empowering others to grow, not lean. It’s love in action, not rescue.

Challenger (Instead of Persecutor): You hold a torch, sparking inspiration. No blame—just a nudge: “You’re bigger than this.” It’s a push with heart, building resilience, not tearing down.

This isn’t a cycle; it’s a climb. Where Karpman pulls us into drama, Emerald lifts us into empowerment. The Victim becomes a Creator, designing their future. The Hero transforms into a Coach, fostering independence. The Persecutor shifts to a Challenger, igniting growth with kindness. It’s what I teach in NLP: reframe the story, anchor the positive, step into your power.

Why Emerald’s Side Matters

Let me speak to your soul here. The Drama Triangle isn’t just a pattern, it’s a thief. It steals your peace, your joy, your connection. On social media, it’s the hate in every thread. Victims whining, Heroes posturing, Persecutors attacking. In politics, it’s the endless “us vs. them,” leaving us exhausted, not inspired. In your life, it’s the arguments, the guilt, the “I can’t” whispers in your mind. It’s a hypnotic state of disempowerment, and it’s time to wake up.

Emerald’s side? It’s freedom. It’s love over hate, creation over conflict. Imagine this: instead of fighting what you don’t want, scrolling, raging at the world, you chase what you do want. A kinder home, a brighter community, a peaceful heart. Instead of prosecuting with anger, you challenge with love calling others higher, not lower. Instead of rescuing to feel needed, you coach with compassion, building a world where we all thrive. That’s the shift from reactive to proactive, from drama to vision.

I see it daily in my practice. A client stuck as a Victim, blaming their past, learns to visualize a future as a Creator and tears turn to hope. Another, a compulsive Hero, softens into a Coach, watching their loved ones bloom. A Persecutor, harsh and critical, finds peace as a Challenger, inspiring instead of wounding. This isn’t theory; it’s transformation.

How to Step Off Karpman and Onto Emerald

You’re ready, aren’t you? Here’s how, with a hypnotist’s gentle nudge and an NLP twist:

1. Wake Up: Notice the trance. Are you feeling helpless (Victim)? Rushing to fix (Hero)? Judging harshly (Persecutor)? Awareness breaks the spell—Karpman himself said, “With knowledge, you can say ‘no’ to drama.”
2. Reframe: Ask yourself, “What do I want instead?” If you’re a Victim, picture yourself as a Creator, now what’s one step forward? Heroes, shift to Coach, now how can you empower, not save? Persecutors, become Challengers, now how can you inspire with love?
3. Pause: Between the trigger and your reaction, breathe. This is the “pause moment” and it’s your power to choose Emerald over Karpman.
4. Anchor It: In NLP, we use anchors. Visualize that upward triangle, feel the calm of green and blue, hear “You’ve got this.” Let it ground you in empowerment.
5. Act: Start small. Post something creative, not complaining. Coach a friend with a question, not a solution. Challenge with kindness, not blame.

A Call to You

The hate Karpman’s triangle has created online, in politics, and in us is  loud, isn’t it? But you don’t have to stay there. Let’s stop fighting what we don’t want and start building what we do. Let’s challenge with love, not prosecute with anger. Let’s coach each other toward a world we’d be proud to live in together. Emerald’s side isn’t just better; it’s who you’re meant to be: a Creator of your life, a Coach to those around you, a Challenger for good.

Take my hand, dear one. Step off the drama. Step into empowerment. You’ve got the power to rewrite this story and I’m here, cheering you on.

With love and light,
Rebecca O’Rourke CH

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